I have been trying to figure out what this year’s Idol coronation song, “No Boundaries,” sounds like.
I think I have it: a bad Shania Twain song without melodic sequences in the chorus (with maybe some vague Bon Jovisms).
Ah, such fine gebrauchsmusik. (To her credit as a performer, I think Shania would know to sing this song a notch or two slower and less “pushed” than Kris et Adam.)
The Little Kingdom, the towne in which I reside, paid dearly for a new slogan to promote its quaint shopping villages.
And what should this wondrous phrase turn out to be? **Parchment-headed, rope-tensioned drum roll, please!**
Welcome to Your Happy Place
Rather presumptuous and inaccurate, is it not? Besides, I wouldn’t think anybody’s real happy place needed an introduction!
Judging harshly on a ten-point scale per song (6=good, 8=excellent, 10=WOW), with insta-deductions of 1 pt. for over-the-top screaming, I cipher:
Adam “Spock/Neil Diamond” Lambert: 7 + 8 + 7 = 22
Kris “Archie/Michael Johns” Allen: 8 + 9 + 6 = 23
BUT!!
WHEREAS the panel has spun the thing to Spock/Diamond, the caller vote will follow suit. So, all-in-all, ADAM WINS.
_________________
I think Kris has lost the competition on Kara’s (bleeeh) song.
Adam got a scream deduction on the second song. I thought most of his screaming DID have musical value, however.
Wonder what Ricky Braddy has been doing?
UPDATE, Part Deux: Not since “Dewey Defeats Truman” . . .
Now, some would say last year was similar–BUT, most people did think Cook had it won on the top three show, the week before the final. I don’t think Kris ever “had it won” this season. So, what a surprise!
I have fallen behind in providing my monthly “stinkers”–inspirational sayings (that don’t quite “add up”) in the style of Norman Vincent Peale, Dale Carnegie, Tony Robbins, Dr. Phil, the other Phil (a barfly on Cheers who gave everybody advice), and Burma Shave road signs. I’m sorry.
When that which is ’round you begins to stink, enthusiasm smells better than you’d think!
–DR. WHOOK
(I got an honorary doctorate from a diploma mill for giving the on-line commencement address.)
Ok, my vote solely goes to Kris to advance to the AI final because, when he plays the piano, his fourth fingers don’t cave in (and he appears to have a hand position that Elbert Lingo would have approved of–inside joke).
For anyone who knows not, the fourth (ring) finger doesn’t work well for pianists, and it takes years to acquire any facility. It’s unusual for a singer to have good fourth fingers.
On top of that, I would agree with Randy that Kris does “Heartless” better than Kanye West.
Funny, funny: the tubes going to Adam’s ear monitors gave him Spock-like pointy ears. Too funny. Wish someone would beam him up!
. . . this week is “stab Kris in the back” week!
And, oh, Danny, Danny. I hardly know where to begin!
