Fish Bowl Politics

It is said that running for office or holding the presidency is like living in a fish bowl. Well, no wonder we’re seeing “aquarium ruins ornaments” behind our politicians these days! Obama stood in front of a neoclassical temple set for his acceptance speech. The newly refurbished White House press room has a set decoration of columns.

Al Gore’s infamous lock box is like the little treasure chests that go in the fish tank.

A former gov’nah of Alabama used to say that the ship of state has holes. “We’ve got to plug up the holes.” There are shipwreck ornaments for the fish bowl, too.

See, a pirate can be a good political analyst.

Good Ol’ Victor

Victor Borge, at his comedic and musical best, improvising an accompaniment to Monti’s Czardas for violinist Anton Kontra. (It really gets rolling halfway through the video.)

‘Tis the Season

As football season starts, and lunacy grips our fair SEC, some random observations:

Big Al, ‘Bama’s mascot. If the lion’s tail in The Wizard of Oz could be articulated in 1939, surely the technology exists by now to make Big Al’s trunk look like something more than a short cardboard tube stuck in a limp sweater sleeve.

Uga. Best wishes to the new bulldog (not the team). SU is also a bulldog school, so there are some warm feelings for fellow dawgs (mascots, not teams). If memory serves, a couple supplied a live bulldog for SU years ago that was said to be a relative of a past Uga. The dog got kidnapped (evil BSC?). Aren’t pranks cute?

Tailgaters. It wouldn’t be football season without a news report or two about some tailgater who has a dog that says “Roll Tide!” or “War Eagle!” or “I love you!” or “Mama, I want a drink of water!” The sad fact is that anything a tailgater’s dog says sounds exactly the same as what another says and nothing like any of those phrases. It takes real talent to be Scooby-Doo.

Crimson. It’s the Crimson Tide, not the Tomato Red Tide! The color of the jerseys has been a little off in recent years. That explains the loses.

Warm, sincere, and best wishes to everybody’s favorite team who will face domination, humiliation, and annihilation at the hand of the mighty Saban, buahahaha. Hang on . . . . . . another player was arrested/suspended/expelled or decided to play baseball. Never mind.

Borin’ Recitals

Things to do during a dull voice or piano recital:

1. Watch the moths flying around the spotlights.

2. Watch other people watching the moths.

3. Watch the bugs crawling on the potted Boston ferns placed on stage.

4. Count how many times you can see the singer’s uvula.

5. Watch the tail of the piano lid bounce up and down while the pianist plays chords.

6. Count how many times the page turner gets lost.

7. Make faces at the singer.

8. Ignore the singer and watch the accompanist.

9. Rattle the program and cough.

10. Repeatedly turn around and look at something in the back of the house.

11. Watch the pianist’s ears turn red.

12. Watch the singer grip the corner of the flap on the piano lid until his or her knuckles turn white.

Above all else, think how fortunate you are not to be at a viola recital.

The Forgott’n Olympic Theme

Another Olympiad has come and gone. We got a bellyful of Leo Arnaud’s Bugler’s Dream and John Williams’ Olympic Fanfare and Theme. Musical works so indelibly linked with the Olympics on ABC and NBC that a broadcast without them is unthinkable.

Yet, CBS chose to use a lavishly orchestrated theme by Tamara Kline for their 1992, 1994. and 1998 Winter Olympics coverage, which I think I like better. This can be heard on the YouTube clip of the closing montage of the Lillehammer Games.

Foot-in-Mouth Disease

I hope that the Democratic National Committee is supplying the Obama campaign with buckets of that bitter, anti-thumb-sucking stuff with which to paint Sen. Biden’s left foot in order to cure him of the habit of sticking said foot in his mouth!

Greetin’s Mateys

Perhaps I’m getting too old for silliness, but why shouldn’t a blog have a silly name, like a TV production company, and its author a silly identity? We’re all about fun here, anyway: quirky observations of life, culture, and more than you probably want to hear about the piano. So keep it relatively clean and comment away. Or lurk in the shadows. Or ignore me completely in gnawing guilt. It’s all good. (Please comment.)

Hey, speaking of silly production company names, I like Worldwide Pants, UBU (“Sit, BooBoo, sit! Good dog!” ), and Bedford Falls (“And Dance by the light of the moon!” [sung out of tune]). What are your favorites?

Testin’

Testing, testing. Is this thing on? I’m not on the air, am I?